I’m so glad you’re here. I help smart, successful women just like you who are exhausted and unsatisfied, feel alive, full of energy and excited about their lives.
And I was damn good at it! I attended Stanford University and landed a job at Google after graduation. During the 7 years I worked at Google, I was diagnosed with a digestive disorder, an autoimmune condition, hormonal imbalances and chronic fatigue. Fortunately, my failing health led me to pursue a Master’s in Integrative Health Studies which helped me heal from one health condition after another.
Eventually I got tired of getting sick and started to investigate why this kept happening. I realized that my whole life, I felt that I had to prove that I was good enough. Good enough to get my superiors’ approval, good enough to earn my parents love, good enough to survive in a man’s world. Constantly having to prove myself, day-in and day-out was utterly exhausting me.
When my father died in the middle of my graduate program it was simultaneously devastating and liberating. I had never before realized how much of my life decisions I made in an unconscious attempt to earn my father’s approval. In my final project for my master’s degree I investigated the health implications of women living in modern patriarchy and learned that the health conditions I faced impact women at a rate 3-5 times higher than that of men.
When I read these studies I wanted to scream and demand the world tell me WHY!?! I know so many women in my community who have faced these same diagnoses and yet no one seemed to know why these illnesses tend to impact women so selectively, so I formed my own hypothesis:
And it was just as much a surprise to me as to my peers and teachers and friends that my graduate research led me to the source of a woman’s power – her sexuality and relationship with pleasure. But my years studying Integrative Health did not prepare me to address these taboo topics. The vast majority of coaching and therapeutic modalities conveniently ignore sexuality, either because quality professional training in this area is very hard to find and/or because of professionals’ own discomfort, shame and judgement around these topics (thank you, patriarchy!).
After my graduate program, I decided to enroll in not one but two (over-achiever in recovery here people!) Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certifications, with a focus on Women’s Empowerment. The year I spent devoted to these programs was the most transformative and liberating of my life.
When we experience pleasure, be it in taking a warm bath, petting a dog, getting a hug or receiving sexual pleasure, we release a delicious cocktail of hormones and chemical compounds that have a down-regulating effect on stress hormones.
I believe pleasure is both critical for ambitious women like myself who have big things to do in this world AND terribly challenging. How can I make time to focus on pleasure when I have so many other things to do?? Which led me to the next piece of the puzzle: worthiness.
Patriarchy tells us to keep working harder, that our sexuality is wrong and that pleasure is selfish and indulgent. In order to benefit from the stress-reducing and life-enriching effects of pleasure and end the cycle of burnout for good, you have to address the deep sense of unworthiness that comes from being born in a body that is not a cis-gendered white male’s body.
If deep down, you don’t feel worthy of taking up space in this world, worthy of feeling good, worthy of just letting yourself BE without a constant need to DO, it’s nearly impossible to have a nourishing relationship with pleasure. When you embody a sense of worthiness, you take responsibility for your pleasure, and from there comes a belief in your own potential, effortless confidence and an ability to advocate for yourself.
Despite my training, I don’t refer to myself a sex or relationship coach because I actually don’t spend all that much time in my client sessions talking about sex or relationships. I talk about women’s dreams, visions, their big plans, the things they want desperately to do but are too scared to take the first step. And the things that are stopping them from taking action towards their dreams. Namely, FEAR and limiting beliefs.
It is intense work to confront the ways in which we’ve been holding ourselves back from what we most want. But we only get one shot at this life and I don’t want you to wake up one morning with regrets about the life you lived. I am here to hold your hand and light the way as we do the radical work of reclaiming our true power as women and finally creating the lives we most want.
I don’t want you to spend another moment not feeling energized, happy and lit up by life. I love helping women just like you, transform their relationship to pleasure, recover from burnout and take radical responsibility for their lives. If you feel a connection to some part of my story, I would love to connect with you.
The clients I work with say they feel “deeply seen and listened to” in our “transformative sessions.” They appreciate the “warm and safe non-judgemental space” I hold while staying “laser-focused on their desires” with my “sharp intuition” and “nurturing and grounded presence.” Join me on the journey in my 1-on-1 coaching program.
Alyssa is a women’s empowerment coach who helps smart, successful women banish burnout with pleasure. She is an ex-Googler, holds a masters’ degree in Integrative Health and is a certified VITATM Sex, Love and Relationship Coach. She is based in the San Francisco Bay Area and supports clients all over the world to live into their fullest potential.Get my Radiant Morning Ritual